By Salar Kheradpejouh
Denishawn Dance company founder Ruth St Denis and husband Ted Shawn with garden party guests, including Louise Brooks and Martha Graham
Upon second viewing, I have definitely concluded that Guardians of the Galaxy is even better when you imagine it as a tabletop campaign with an increasingly frustrated DM who’s sick of being interrupted.
GM: “Roll 2d10.”
Peter: “Red high. Twelve.”
GM: “You have 12 percent of a plan.”
The entire prison break scene was just Rocket’s player rolling knowledge checks on every turn until something worked.
- When Drax’s player said, “I go into the phone booth and call Ronan to Knowhere”, the DM stared open-mouthed for a minute, then called break time. The rest of the party was speechless.
- Pretty much just in general, Drax’s player is one of those people who thinks Chaotic Neutral means “throws self at shit for the lulz” and is really fortunate he didn’t have many other opportunities to derail the campaign.
- Gamora’s player gets really exasperated by the entirety of the campaign. They rolled a character with a tragic backstory and clear hooks to the villain to expand on, and had no idea that everyone else was going to be so silly. It leads to begging the party to just once execute a normal plan because look at Gamora’s stealth bonus, this min/maxed assassin needs a chance to use her abilities, please.
- Rocket’s a skill monkey who, if not for Drax’s grand display of idiocy, would have gladly derailed the campaign with absurd plans.
- Groot was a joke idea someone came up with that people ended up liking too much.
- Ronan’s confusion when Star Lord began dancing was the DM’s confusion verbatim.
- The DM now vetoes Chaotic Neutral characters on principle.
So I made a thing
Zuko’s Honor flashback…
I have seen way too many comments along the lines of “Zoe Quinn/Anita Sarkeesian/people who support/defend them are faking all of the claims of harassment against them because they’re dumb lying whores who should be harassed.”
Like, one comment of that is too many, but it keeps coming up as a fairly common refrain. The lack of self awareness is just astounding.
(Random person reading this: if you actually agree with that statement, I want you to seriously reconsider everything that has happened in your life and every choice that has brought you to where you are now, as something has gone horribly wrong for you.)
NYC Times Square advertisement for Goldfinger (1964)
Mignola’s take on Moebius’ “Arzach”. One of the more beautiful Wastelands.
Zheng He’s like, “You went exploring in a LIFEBOAT?”
At 29, Patrick is the oldest living wombat. [reddit]
The new Spoon album is super good. Listen to those last few posts, or just go buy the whole thing.